When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Initially of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Common issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas it is a sobering name to motion, there is no such thing as a denying that sober curiosity has elevated just lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. As we speak we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we are able to do if we’re eager about a sober (utterly alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private determination, however when you’re any sort of an everyday drinker (which means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other manner. For those who’re not ingesting throughout the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e-book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for no less than 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely isn’t attainable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you haven’t any concept how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It often takes a couple of weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/finest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually will depend on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to only see when you may make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or had been you searching for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you already know you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is absolutely what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. For those who spend a variety of time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which ends up in a variety of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you may need to take a step again.

You may not even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply develop into a part of your interior chatter. That chatter may sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No laborious alcohol throughout the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my ingesting had been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that had been consistently shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You may simply resolve that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I should not have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra conscious strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions must be explored when eager about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and life like, mannequin to make use of relating to speaking about alcohol is the concept of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t must hit any type of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to resolve at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

For those who’re able to get trustworthy with the function alcohol performs in your life, I might counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get inquisitive about your self, and take the time to reply truthfully. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our pals have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you may have ideas/suggestions for methods to make this a part of my way of life with my ingesting pals? 

Krysty: You may want to search out new pals – haha. However, significantly, if your pals actually respect and help you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly making an attempt to push you to begin ingesting once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila received’t do any hurt, then you definitely may must rethink who you’re spending time with. You could work out for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve got, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your buddy group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definitely may want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to exchange that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most primary sober particular person round – and I’m proud of ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing just a little extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. For those who’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you may need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam